Tutoring Help for a Student: When Is It Time?

I answered a publicity query concerning when is it time to get a tutor for a student. After I responded to all the questions in the publicity query, I decided to share my responses here:

Several different ways a parent can know whether it's time for a tutor:

1. If the student asks for one.
2. If the student struggles with the material and doesn't seem to "get" it.
3. If the teacher tells the parent the student doesn't seem to "get" the material.

The age has no bearing on this. I've known students who needed a tutor in first grade to learn how to read because the student's learning style was different than the teaching method.

Teachers are usually NOT the best person to decide because a parent can see up close and personal when a student is struggling. On the other hand, when a teacher tells a parent that a child needs a tutor, the parent should listen and not shrug off the suggestion.

The best time of year is as soon as a student needs help (see above).

It would be better if the child is on board (and this can often be achieved in the way the tutor is presented to the student), but not necessary. Students should not be allowed to fail because they are afraid to admit they need help.

Definitely not wait until a student gets a F. (Sometimes short-term tutoring does the trick if the problem is caught soon enough.)

If regular tutoring doesn't seem to help and there are some underlying hints of learning disabilities, testing should be carried out as soon as possible and extensively as possible with a trained educational consultant.

Parents should also read the book MINDSET by Carol Dweck to help ensure that the student is not refusing to try because of a closed mindset. (I feature this book on my Flipping Burgers blog.)

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Strive for a Growth Mindset When Considering New Things

A lawyer I know mentioned to me a first-year law school student that we both know. I asked how he was doing, and the lawyer replied that he didn’t take advice well.

It was obvious my friend meant that he hadn’t listened to her. So I asked why the young man hadn’t listened. Her reply was that young people think older people (she’s not that old FYI) don’t know anything.

I’ve been puzzling over this conversation for several days. It seems to me that this doesn’t make sense. Why would a first-year law school student in his search for a summer law job not take the advice of someone older who has been there/done that?

I truly believe that this is an example of a fixed mindset, which is the focus of Carol Dweck’s book MINDSET: THE NEW PSYCHOLOGY OF SUCCESS. Dweck is a professor of psychology at Stanford, and her students encouraged her to write this book based on her years of research. The book is well-written in language easily understood by those of us not in her field of expertise.

According to Dweck, a person with a growth mindset – the opposite of a fixed mindset – eagerly tackles new experiences even if that person knows he/she may not at first be successful. A growth-mindset person understands that what’s important is the learning that takes place in trying new experiences. It’s not a question of how smart or how stupid someone is. It’s a matter of willingness to learn new things even at the risk of failing.

It is quite possible that the lawyer suggested something to the young law student that he felt uncertain about whether he could be successful. Rather than admit this concern and then add he was willing to try new things, he shrugged off the advice. It is easier for many people not to try something new because of the fear of failure. But if you have this kind of fixed mindset, you will be closing off many opportunities for learning and for success.

The next time someone offers you advice: listen carefully, make sure you understand fully, then if your immediate reaction is to ignore the advice, first carefully consider whether trying to follow this advice may seem somewhat scary. If so, consider switching from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset and be willing to try out new things. The person you help will be yourself.