New Experiences: Stepping Outside Your Comfort Zone

I’ve written before about having an open mind (and recommended the book MINDSET by Carol Dweck). As it’s such an important topic, I wanted to revisit it again.

Most of us probably have a standard response to things we don’t want to do – NO (if we can get away without doing those things). Yet if you’re in high school, college or your first job – you might want to consider saying yes to things you don’t want to do because of what you may learn or who you may get to meet.

A long time ago my husband and I were asked to take with us to Israel two very bulky sweaters Israelis visiting the U.S. hadn’t been able to take back with them. At the time my inclination was to say no, but I was prevailed upon to say yes as we were taking half-empty suitcases so we could bring gifts home.

The irony is that neither my husband nor I had relatives or friends in Israel at that time. We delivered the sweaters to the head of Israel radio and his wife, and suddenly we had the opportunity to meet real Israelis! A totally unexpected outcome of taking two bulky sweaters in our suitcases.

If a teacher, mentor or boss asks you to help out with a project that at first sounds boring, do not automatically say no. First, get more information about the project. Second, take a few minutes to think about how you might learn something new or meet some interesting people if you do this project. And then, with an open mind, if at all possible say yes.

Being open to new experiences is a wonderful character trait that can lead you to all kinds of interesting things. Of course, we’re talking about LEGAL projects. While you might learn from an illegal activity, this is not something you want to say yes to.

Use good judgment about saying yes to new things – and do say yes when it is appropriate to do so.

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Internships: What to Do With Conflicting Opportunities

A friend just told me about her college-age son and his dilemma with internships this past summer.

It seems that he was promised an internship for which he stayed in D.C. for. But the weeks dragged on with no word, and he got a call for a really good internship in New York. He wanted to accept this second internship, but he was worried that he had promised the first internship.

His parents explained to him that it was perfectly acceptable to take the bird in the hand rather than waiting for the bird in the bush.

He went to New York and had a great unpaid internship. Only, near the end of that internship, he got a call to work (paid this time) for the Obama campaign, although he would have to leave his New York internship early.

Again he was conflicted. Until his parents pointed out that this was a paid internship (as opposed to the NY unpaid internship) and was also a unique opportunity to work for a Presidential campaign. He took this unique opportunity.

Why have I recounted this one college student’s internship experience? Because I think there’s an important lesson here.

Yes, you want to be true to your word. But when someone keeps you hanging for weeks without making a decision, you have the perfect right to accept an internship that is ready right now. And when a paid internship for the whole fall semester presents itself, you have the right to leave your unpaid summer internship a week or two early. After all, it isn’t as if you’re leaving early to spend two weeks lying in the sun at a beach. You’re leaving two weeks early for a paid fall semester internship.

The moral of this story? While I think that your integrity is very important, you do have to do what is right for you. If someone keeps you dangling for weeks, you have the right to take an internship that is being offered right now. And if someone offers to pay you for the entire fall semester, you have the right to leave an unpaid internship a couple of weeks early.

Bottom line? Your integrity has to be combined with what makes good sense for you as you find your own path through high school, college and life.

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College Tutoring Help: Not a Stigma to Take Advantage of This Free Service

A friend of mine gave good advice to her daughter starting graduate school in a difficult subject area:

“Your school has free tutoring on any subject. Don’t wait until you fall behind. After you’re done on the first day of classes, go over to the tutoring center and review the material with a tutor. THIS IS NOT A STIGMA!”

I’m not sure why most people believe that getting help implies weakness rather than indicating strength. It is actually a much better plan for life to recognize when free services can strengthen your position and to take advantage of this available opportunity.

Each person learns in a different way, yet repetition of new material can probably help everyone. And, if you’re going over new material with a tutor, you might discover that you misunderstood something that, if not corrected, could set you off in a major wrong direction. Thus, by reviewing new material with a tutor, you can quickly discover where you’re about to go off track.

If your school offers such services and these services could be of help to you, do not refuse to go because you’re afraid this would make you look dumb. Instead, getting help makes you look smart – smart to take advantage of any help you can in order to make sure you’re on the right track.

And this advice is equally good for high school students at high schools with tutoring centers and for students at colleges and graduate schools with tutoring centers. If there’s help to be had, grab it and make the most of it.

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